Saiyan Swap
by Editor-Bug
Summary: One fateful day, Goku and Vegeta wake up in each other's bodies. Until Bulma can find a solution, they decide to live out each other's lives...while keeping the situation a secret. Read & review if you like!
1. The Swap

(A/N: At last, I have conceived the most original fanfic idea ever. And in case you didn't know, that was sarcasm. But anyway! I hope you enjoy this first chapter!)

* * *

Ch. 1: The Swap

"Zzz...zzz...ah," Vegeta cracked an eye open.

 _"I don't quite remember getting into bed last ni-"_

Chi-Chi.

Chi-Chi was asleep right in front of him.

He blinked rapidly.

 _"Ohhhh, nooo..."_

He backed away and ended up falling out of the bed.

"OW!" he cried before covering his mouth.

Then he looked down at his hands. His arms, his clothes, his entire body. Even his voice. Everything was...different. And not in a good way. His surroundings weren't familiar either. It was much smaller and less luxurious than any bedroom at Capsule Corp.

Vegeta began to sweat more and more. He rushed to the nearest window to look at his reflection.

Kakarot.

XXXXXXXMEANWHILEXXXXXXX

Goku yawned and stretched as he woke up. Something felt odd when he rubbed his eye. And suddenly everything else felt odd. Instead of laying in bed, he was sitting against a wall. He finally opened his eyes and found himself in a spherical room with dismantled robots everywhere. Clearly one of Bulma's gravity chambers.

"What am I doing in here...?" he muttered. "AH!"

He covered his mouth.

 _"That wasn't my voice! What's going on?"_

He looked down and examined himself. He was wearing nothing but shorts and sneakers. He felt around his person, ending at his hair.

"...VEGETA?!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing with my mind?! I mean, what am I doing with your body?! Oh, man..."

He got to his feet and peered outside the chamber. At least he was at Capsule Corp. Hurrying inside, he was grateful he didn't run into anyone besides the person he was looking for; Bulma. He found her tiredly pouring herself some coffee.

"Good morning, Vegeta..." she yawned.

"Bulma, it's me, Goku! I know I look and I sound like Vegeta, but I'm not! I'm Goku!"

"What...? What are you talking about?"

"I don't know what happened myself! I just woke up like this!"

"What, you mean you...switched bodies or something?" She squinted. "What the heck's going on?"

"I told you, I have no idea!" Goku huffed. "Can't you help me get back to normal?"

Bulma crossed her arms. "How do I know you aren't trying to trick me?"

"Huh?!"

"Sure, you're not my Vegeta, but that doesn't automatically make you Goku. And if you're pulling the figurative wool over my eyes, then I feel no sense of obligation towards this conundrum. Bodysnatchers have a tendency to be deceptive, after all. So I invoke burden of proof!"

"Bulma...I have no idea what you just said."

Bulma face-faulted. "This is Goku, alright...what a nightmare!"

"...ah! Vegeta's here!"

Just then, Vegeta shakily landed on the balcony and stepped inside.

"This is freaky..." muttered Goku.

"Vegeta, I presume?" greeted Bulma.

"So you know," the prince gulped. "Tell me what's going on."

Bulma shrugged. "I don't know any more than you do. I just got the news from Goku here."

"Kakarot!" Vegeta fumed at the sight of someone else inhabiting his body. "Get out of my body now if you know what's good for you!"

"Hey!" Goku raised his hands defensively. "It isn't my fault someone's pulled a Ginyu on us!"

"Yeah, Vegeta, chill!" snapped Bulma. "We've got Dragon Balls, remember? With them, everything is a non-issue."

"Oh, yeah," the Saiyans said in unison.

XXXXXXXACOUPLEMINUTESLATERXXXXXXX

Bulma returned from her lab with the Dragon Radar and an unhappy look on her face.

"Bad news, guys, look at this!"

Goku and Vegeta peeked over her shoulders. There wasn't a single signal on the radar.

"Um, is it broken?" asked Goku.

"No, the balls are inert! They've been used recently," growled Vegeta. "As long as they're stone, we can't find them and use them to get back to our own bodies!"

"That's right," Bulma tucked the radar into her pocket. "Strange thing is, I checked the radar less than a week ago, and the Dragon Balls were definitely active then. Do you think this current mess is the result of a wish?"

Vegeta somehow looked even madder. "So that's what this is? Someone is pulling a prank?"

"Sheesh," Goku folded his arms behind his head. "Collecting the Dragon Balls seems like a lot of trouble just for a laugh. Wonder who's behind it..."

"Why are you so being calm about this, Kakarot?!"

"Well, this isn't the first time I've been forced into someone else's body, you know."

"Bet it wasn't as bad as switching with a frog..." said Bulma, making a face.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Wait, wasn't that filler?"

"That wasn't filler, it was in Kai," Goku responded.

"Still filler! It wasn't in the manga!"

"Man...Toriyama really underutilized the Ginyu Force."

"Right?"

"HEY!" Bulma cut in. "Some semblance of a fourth wall would be nice! Now, you two keep the body swap situation secret from everyone else until I can figure out how to get this undone."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know how long it'll take me! And the more people that know about this, the greater the possibility of Chi-Chi finding out! Which won't end well for any of us."

"True."

"Yeah. So, Goku- -I mean, Vegeta! Go back to Goku's house and do your best to act normal. Goku, you go take a shower!"

"Huh? ...PHEW!" A shudder ran over Goku. "Sheesh, Vegeta! When was the last time you bathed?!"

"Shut up! I was training all night, of course I'm not going to smell like clean linen!"

Bulma pinched the bridge of her nose. "See, this...this is not normal. This is what we want to avoid."

"...right!" The Saiyans stood at attention.

"I promise, I'll find a way to fix this. Until then, just stick to my plan."

* * *

(A/N: Well, I had fun writing it at least...I have a feeling this will turn out a BIT better than my other multi-chapter stories. Because, y'know, I actually PLANNED to some degree. This is gonna be 3... _possibly_ 4 chapters long. Possibly. Anywho, not quite sure when the next chapter will be, but until then, please review, fave, follow and check out my profile for more...

See y'all next time!)


	2. The Lots

(A/N: And Chapter 2 is heeere! One more to go!)

* * *

Ch. 2: The Lots

The moment Vegeta arrived back at Goku's house, he realized two things. One, he had no idea what to do. And two, he really had to pee.  
Grateful that Chi-Chi and Goten were still asleep, he slipped into the bathroom and stared at the toilet.

"Well...I won't be able to hold it forever."

He pulled his pants down in an awkward manner and got down to business. But that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was that Vegeta knew that Goku was showering with HIS body this very moment. His face scrunched up in anger, but he figured it wasn't quite as bad if they were BOTH experiencing discomfort...

XXXXXXXWITHGOKUXXXXXXX

 _KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"Mr. Vegeta, is everything alright?" a Capsule Corp employee called from outside the bathroom. "You've been in there for almost an hour!"

"Huh?" Goku peeked out of the shower. "'Mr. Vegeta'? I guess everyone here works for Vegeta too."

 _KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"Mr. Vegeta!"

"Oh, sorry!" Goku went over and opened the door. "I must've lost track of time; the bathtub here is really nice!"

"A-A-Ahh...!" The employee covered her eyes. "MR. VEGETA!"

"What?"

"Eeeek!" She ran away, flustered.

"..." Goku looked down. "Oh. Forgot to get a towel."

XXXXXXXBACKWITHVEGETAXXXXXXX

 _"Finally,"_ Vegeta thought as he dried his hands. _"I got that over with, and I can think straight. Hopefully I can spend most of today in Kakarot's fields, away from-"_

"Hey, Dad!" Goten burst into the bathroom.

"AH!" the prince jumped and faced him. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?!"

"S-Sorry! But you never seemed to mind before...I just came to tell you that Mom's almost done with breakfast. She made toast and buttered bacon!"

"Don't you mean 'buttered toast and bacon'?"

"Ha-ha! Good one, Dad!" Goten grinningly closed the door.

"..."

After finishing up in the bathroom, Vegeta hesitantly met Chi-Chi and Goten at the table, which was fully adorned with breakfast food.

"Good morning!" Chi-Chi greeted. "I hope you like the breakfast, I made sure to make a little bit of everything."

"Thank you," Vegeta muttered, sitting down. He silently took a good portion of the food for himself and dug in.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no! Just hungry!" assured Vegeta.

"Good!" snapped Chi-Chi. "Because this is all you're getting after that lousy plowing job you did last night!"

Vegeta nearly choked on his buttered bacon. "Wh-What?!"

"The fields! I told you they needed plowing last night and it's like you forgot how to run the tractor! Not to mention all the onions and leeks you have left to harvest! And you're not getting another meal until all that work is done!"

"...right. Sorry."

XXXXXXXANDBACKTOGOKUXXXXXXX

"What on Earth are you wearing?!" cried Bulma.

"Well, I didn't really feel right wearing Vegeta's bodysuits and armor and stuff..." Goku explained. "This is what I felt most comfortable in!"

Goku had dressed himself in a pair of orange jeans shorts with matching socks and a t-shirt with a goofy cartoon dragon on it. Plus, he was wearing house slippers. SLIPPERS!

"Hey, cool it with the 3rd person speech!" Bulma warned. "If someone notices, they'll get suspicious! YOU'RE Vegeta, got it?"

"R-Right!" Goku said in a gruff voice.

"You already sound like him, dummy! You don't have to do an impression!"

"Oh, yeah."

Bulma massaged her temples. "Just sit down and eat. Fortunately, that's one thing you do similarly..."

"Awesome!" Goku took a seat and marveled at the exquisite culinary selection. "Thanks for the feast!"

Suddenly, Trunks entered the kitchen. "Morning, Mom."

"H...Hi, Trunks!"

"Morning, Dad. Nice clothes."

"Hey, Trunks!" Goku greeted through a mouthful of food.

Raising an eyebrow, Trunks grabbed a single plain bagel. Goku switched to a less cheerful disposition after catching a glare from Bulma.

Trunks finished his modest meal. "That was good...okay, I'm off to school!"

"Have fun, Trunks!" Bulma waved.

The half-Saiyan boy checked the clock. "Oh, hey, I've got some extra time. Wanna spar with me, Dad?"

"Sure thing, Trunks!"

"VEGETA!" Bulma cut in, causing the two to stare at her. "I-I mean, Trunks! Why don't youuu go get the gravity room ready? Your father will join you shortly, hehe!"

"Uh, okay..." Trunks scurried out.

Once he was a good distance away, Bulma pulled Goku close.

"Listen carefully. I'll get started looking for a way to fix things. Whatever you do, do NOT use your full power on Trunks. Hold back as much as you can. Well, maybe not as much as you can. Hold back enough so that Trunks doesn't feel threatened, but also exert enough power so that he can't tell you're going easy on him. Got it?"

"Yeah, I know! I've sparred with kids before, Bulma." Goku exited the room. "It'll be fine!"

"...right..."

XXXXXXXVEGETAAGAINXXXXXXX

"Phew..." Vegeta wiped the perspiration from his forehead.

He'd spent nearly two hours picking crops and tilling soil with Goku's tractor, but it was so hot out, it felt like it'd been an eternity. And it certainly didn't help that it took him a while to figure out how to run the dang thing.  
So now, he was hot, sweaty, exhausted, and ready for that meal Chi-Chi had promised. She sort of frightened him, but a Saiyan's gotta eat. He found her and Goten reclining and reading in the shade by the Son household.

"Ch...Chi-Chi..." he wheezed. "I've finished all of the farm work...would you happen to have any lunch prepared?"

She merely glanced up at him. "Well, I couldn't have. I used the last of our food to make breakfast."

"You WHAT?!"

"It's not my fault you eat enough for a party of 50, Goku! Our pantry goes bare every other day! If you're really hungry, you'll just have to fly into town for ingredients," Chi-Chi stood, stretched and strolled into the house. "I'll write a list for you. And don't forget your money this time!"

"Ough…" Vegeta flopped down into her empty chair. "Why me?"

"Hey, Dad?" Goten held out his book. "What's this word?"

Vegeta peered at it. "That says 'abhorrence'."

"What does it mean?"

"It means intense, burning hatred," Vegeta deadpanned. "A deep contempt for something or...someone."

"Oh, neat! You're real smart, Dad!"

"I know, I know."

XXXXXXXAGAINWITHGOKUXXXXXXX

"Okay! 200 times gravity!" Goku punched his open palm. "Come at me, Trunks!"

"Aren't you going to transform, Dad?" Trunks asked. "I don't want you to hold back against me."

"Huh? Um, well..."

"I mean, I know you always do, but come on; I'm nine now! You can't coddle me forever!"

Goku smirked. He felt like he'd spent enough time in Vegeta's body to put up a good fight. "Fine, but don't whine if you regret it!"

With that, he went Super Saiyan, and Trunks followed suit. Less than a second later, Trunks lunged straight for Goku, only to disappear when a punch came his way.

Goku anticipated the kick from behind and ducked, tumbling backwards, under the half-Saiyan boy. He paused to let Trunks recover from the heavy landing, but he didn't need long. He swiftly spun around and attacked again with a flurry of punches, which it didn't take much for Goku to block and dodge. When Trunks began to fatigue, Goku caught both of his fists and kneed him in the gut, sending him flying back.

Trunks knelt and clutched his stomach. "Oww...Dad..."

"I told you! I can revert back to my normal state if you want."

"Not that...it's just...I thought I had your fighting style all figured out. And just like that, you start using a completely different one."

"O-Oh." Goku glanced aside. "Well, I've got to keep you on your toes somehow, son!"

"Hmph! Well, you wouldn't be so high and mighty against both me AND Goten! When we fuse, we're almost as strong as his dad!"

"That's true. I think Gotenks would give me a good run for my money."

"...?" Trunks looked taken aback.

"I mean, you squirts still wouldn't stand a ghost of a chance! Power is nothing without combat experience, and that's something I'll always have over you!""

"Hmm. Then maybe we could do a double-team sparring session after school! You and me against Goten and his dad! It'll be fun!"

Goku crossed his arms in thought. Of course the idea excited him, but he knew Vegeta wouldn't be too thrilled about it right now...

"Dad, pleeease?"

"I'll...I'll ask Kakarot about it."

"Really? I was thinking we'd show up and challenge them all unannounced. You know, Briefs style."

"That works too."

"Awesome!" Trunks slipped his hoodie on. "I should be getting to school now. See ya later, Dad!"

Goku watched him leave. "Oh, boy..."

XXXXXXXBACKTOVEGETAXXXXXXX

"...398, 399, _400_!" Vegeta handed the cashier the bills. "400 zeni."

"Thanks, Goku! Here's your wolf meat!"

Grumbling, Vegeta took the meat. He whipped out a pencil and crossed it off of his shopping list.

"Alright. I've bought everything," he sighed. "Now I can fly back to that shrew and get my much-deserved lu- -"

"GOKUUU!" a panicky middle-aged woman came ran up to him.

"Oh, what now?!"

'Harvest season is almost over! PLEASE tell me you're selling leeks today!"

"Listen, lady," Vegeta looked around. "I'm pretty tired today, so if you could..."

"Goku, Goku, Gokuuu!" More people came flocking towards him.  
"Have you got onions?!"  
"We're all out of vegetables at my house!"  
"You usually have the harvest done by now!"

Vegeta was completely swamped with the demands. He had no idea so many people relied on Goku's dinky little farm.

"HOLD IT! Hold it, people!" he settled them. "Now I must return home with these groceries, BUT after that, I shall return with your produce!"

"Hurray!"  
"Woo-hoo!"  
"Yay!"  
"Etcetera!"

With a sack full of ingredients and even more stress hanging over him, Vegeta flew away from the crowd back to Chi-Chi.

"Good, Goku!" she gushed. "You bought everything on the list!"

"Yeah, yeah," he panted. "And I've got tons of people waiting on me to get back to them with vegetables, so if you could hurry with the lunch- -"

"You've got customers?! Then the lunch can wait, Goku! You ate a whole feast for breakfast, you can't be completely starved! I swear, you need to cut down anyway," Chi-Chi snatched the huge shopping bag from him. "I'll fix something up while you're at the market, but don't even THINK about coming back for it until you've sold every last item!"

"You're kidding."

"Nope!" She pointed past him. "Get the harvest and get back to work!"

"RRR...!" Shaking with rage, Vegeta raised his hand...and gave her a thumbs-up. "BE RIGHT BACK."

XXXXXXXSNAPPINBACKTOGOKUXXXXXXX

Goku walked the Capsule Corp halls, wondering what to do until the sparring match. "What exactly does Vegeta do all day? Training here isn't much fun with no one to talk to..."

Bulma's father came from up the hall. "Good afternoon, Vegeta."

"Hey, Dr. Briefs."

"...!" The bespectacled man jumped a little. "D-Did you just call me 'Dr. Briefs'?"

"Isn't that your name?"

"Well, yes, but- -! You've always called me 'old man' or 'Bulma's elderly father'! I look rather young for my age, y'know!"

"Oh, okay."

"Hmm...something about you seems rather different today, son. Even your eyes! They don't look quite as permanently enraged! And just now, when I called you 'son'! You didn't scoff with distaste!"

Goku wasn't sure what to do. Even if Dr. Briefs figured out something was up, he didn't think it would do any harm.

"You're acting unusually 'chill'..." The doctor gave a suspicious look and stroked Scratch (shoulder cat). "You and Bulma didn't get up to any shenanigans last night, did you?"

"No? I was training last night."

"Hmph, is that what they call it these days? You know, not five minutes ago, I ran into a female worker who became rather skittish at the mention of you."

"Pfft!"

"What?"

"'Skittish'..."

"My point is, watch yourself! Just because you're a powerful alien monkey man doesn't mean you run the place, ya hear?"

"Oh, I hear. Old man."

Dr. Briefs adjusted his glasses. "That's right."

Squinting back at Goku, he continued down the hall. The Saiyan shrugged, figuring Dr. Briefs was getting senile in his old age, and continued as well. At the end of the hall, he opened a random laboratory door where Bulma was seated at a couple monitors.

"Hm?" She faced him. "Oh, hi!"

"Hey, Bulma. What're you up to?"

"I'm researching potential solutions to our little problem."

"Neat. Have you figured anything out?"

Bulma huffingly smoothed her hair. "Well, I can tell you with 100% certainty that this is the work of Shenron."

"Yeah, but you don't know who made the wish?"

"I'd tell you if I knew. Anyway, how's your day been going? Did the sparring with Trunks go well?"

"Oh yeah, I had a good time! We're actually gonna swing by my place soon to spar with Goten and 'Kakarot' too!"

"What? Why?! Don't you see how quickly things could spiral out of control, with you two, Trunks, Goten AND Chi-Chi there?!"

"Relax, will you? It was Trunks's idea. I had to handle it 'normally'."

"Ugh, I'm sorry...maybe I worry too much."

"You do!" Goku petted her shoulder. "I promise, I won't let anything bad happen no matter how long I'm in this body. You can always count on me, Bulma."

"Thanks." Bulma held his hand there. "I've only died once, so you can't be doing too bad."

Goku and Bulma laughed together.

"..."

"..."

"Hey, I should go get Trunks." Goku clapped. "It's almost fight time!"

"O-Okay!" Bulma hastily turned back to the screens. "Bye! Have fun! I'll just be here..."

XXXXXXXAAANDBACKTOVEGETAXXXXXXX

"Anyone want this last onion?...anyone?" Vegeta feebly offered to every passerby. "My...'wife' won't feed me until I sell this...I don't want to resort to begging, but- -"

"Hey, buddy!"

"Hn? You didn't hear that!" Vegeta peered down and saw Krillin. "Oh. What are you doing here?"

"How's that for a warm welcome?" Krillin frowned. "I just got off the clock and happened to be in the area."

"Of course. Look, unless you're interested in making a purchase, now isn't the best time for chit-chat."

"What's got you so frazzled? I know Chi-Chi makes you work hard, but I don't think it's ever upset you this much."

"She's refused to let me eat until I sell all my produce. It's taken practically the entire afternoon for me to sell everything but THIS. ONE. ONION."

"Man, that's harsh. But I know how that goes. 18 makes me sleep on the couch if I spend one cent over our shopping budget, like I have full control over that; sometimes they raise the price of avocados for the weekend! Supply and demand, 18! Gosh!"

"Uh-huh."

"Of course Gohan had to be the one to get the girl who mellows out!"

"Uh-HUH."

"And then there's Bulma! The worst of them all!"

"...what?"

"Okay, maybe that was a little mean, but you get what I'm saying! It's like I've told you before; 18's got the power, Chi-Chi's got the will, and Videl's got the resources, but Bulma's got all three! So she can actually carry out her threats! She has Vegeta wound like a...like a...well, I can't think of an analogy at the moment, but that's beside the point."

"What IS the point?"

"The point is that she's got him pretty whipped now! Kind of funny, huh?"

"No," Vegeta's eye twitched. "I don't think Vegeta would appreciate you saying this."

"Wha?"

"Perhaps you should stop spouting nonsense before he catches wind of it and gets you for it..."

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Krllin burst out laughing. "Wow, Goku! You've spent so much time with Vegeta, you totally know how to talk just like him! Hehe! Hey, just for that, I'll take that onion off your hands!"

"...thank you."

Krillin gave Vegeta the zeni, took the onion, and flew off with a final "see ya later!"  
Finally free of produce, Vegeta tucked his profits away and once again hurried back to the Son household. Once there, he practically teleported to the kitchen table and dumped his earnings onto it.

Chi-Chi turned from her cooking in alarm. "Goku, you're back! And you sold all the crops! I knew it wouldn't be too hard if you put your mind to it."

"Yeah...it wasn't all that hard," Vegeta spoke through his teeth. "I don't think I've ever been so hungry in my entire life."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Have you finished yet?"

"You're just in time! I've prepared the biggest pot of curry, and tons of rice to go with it!" Chi-Chi set a big plate in front of him.

For the first time all day, Vegeta smiled a genuine smile. But just as he was about to dig in...

 _TAP! TAP! TAP!_

"Dad! Daaad!"

"Hey, Mr. Goten's dad! Come out!"

Vegeta faced towards the window. "Trunks?!"

XXXXXXXFINALLYUNITEDXXXXXXX

"Goten! Goten's dad!" Trunks pointed dramatically. "Me and my dad challenge you to a fight to the death!"

"Well, not to the death," Goku amended.

Vegeta fumed at the juvenile outfit. "Sounds fun, but this isn't the best time. I was about to eat for the first time since this mor- -"

"Then that's the challenge!" Trunks went on. "Whichever father-son duo wins gets all the food!"

"Yeah, let's do it, Dad! We can beat 'em!" Goten said excitedly.

The half-Saiyan boys transformed in anticipation. Vegeta simply gave Goku a furious glare before powering up to Super Saiyan himself. Relieved that he was willing to play along, Goku did the same.  
With that, the two pairs of fighters went at it.

Goku and Trunks immediately lunged for Vegeta, who didn't expect to be targeted. Goten managed to block them off with a sizable ki blast, and the three became engaged in their own scuffle.  
It was then Vegeta realized he had no idea what to do. He hadn't had any combat experience in Goku's body, he barely knew anything Goten's fighting style, and he obviously hadn't planned anything with him beforehand; he was at quite the disadvantage here.

But this was no time for an inner monologue! Goten wouldn't be able to hold those two off for more than a couple seconds, so he had to enter the fray. He did so, landing a clean punch in Goku's- -er, well, his own face.

His accomplishment was short-lived as Goku grabbed his wrist and flung him over his shoulder. Just as Vegeta had regained his bearings, Goten came crashing into him after a hard kick from Trunks.

"Good work, son!" Goku praised him.

Trunks cracked his knuckles. "Thanks, you too!"

"Ow, ow!" Goten rubbed his arm. "Dad, they're gonna get the dinner!"

"No, they're NOT!" No sooner had Vegeta gotten back on his feet did he appear in mid-air behind Goku. He did the iconic pose and fired a mighty beam. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

However, Trunks dashed in front of the Kamehameha wave to guard his "father", and it was clearly too much for him to handle. Almost subconsciously, Vegeta evaporated the attack, leaving Trunks winded.

"W-Why'd you cancel it out...?" he asked, confused.

"You would've gotten hurt if I hadn't," Vegeta remarked with haste. "This match is just for fun, understand?"

Trunks stared at him a bit before chuckling cockily. "This isn't just for fun..." He popped up right in front of Vegeta. "THIS IS FOR DINNER!"

He swung at him with his right fist, then his left; Vegeta caught both. In the ensuing struggle, he peeked past Trunks. Goku wasn't having much trouble against Goten...he just hoped he didn't get carried away.

"Hey! Eyes on the prize, Goten's dad!" Trunks snapped, kneeing Vegeta in the face.

Just then, Goku elbowed Goten towards him; luckily, Vegeta caught him this time.

Goku laughed triumphantly. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that!"

"RRR...!" Vegeta growled before blinking in realization.

 _"I...have Kakarot's body...I have Kakarot's power...I have Super Saiyan 3! I can end this in a flash!"_

He smirked widely. "How's this for 'better'?"

With a tight clenching of his fists, Vegeta bent his knees and concentrated his energy for the power-up.

"HAAAAAAAAAAGH...!"

The ground quaked, the trees rustled, animals fled for shelter, someone somewhere soiled themselves. Goku, Goten and Trunks looked on in awe as Vegeta kept screaming and screaming, pushing his power level (and his volume) as high as it could possibly go. He thought he felt his eyebrows disappearing when...

"Goku! Vegeta!"

"Huh?"

Everyone turned to see Bulma in a mini-helicopter, waving out the window. She touched down and darted out onto the battlefield.

"I've done it! I've found the solution to our problem!"

* * *

(A/N: Finally, after two months, I FINALLY updated this. And quite the lengthy update it was. It was fun, but kinda annoying to work on because my laptop kept messing up when I saved it. But it's finished!Well, the next chapter is gonna be the big wrap-up; fear not, your questions will be answered and blah-dee-blah, but I hope you enjoyed this here "meat" part of the story and I hope you'll stick around for the conclusion too!

Please review, fave, follow, point out mistakes, and check out my profile for more...stuff. LATERS!)


	3. The Parameters

(A/N: Here we are at Chapter 3. The final frontier. And heyyy, I didn't take two months this time. But it sure feels like it. Hope this satisfies your desires and everything...thanks, readers!)

* * *

Ch. 3: The Parameters

"I've done it! I've done it!" Bulma cheered over and over. "Woo-hoo! WAHOO!"

"Awesome, you figured out who made the wish?" Goku inquired while the others eyed him curiously.

"No! I figured out how to fix everything!"

Goten raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, what do you mean 'fix everything'? And what wish?"

"Grown-up things, Goten!" Bulma replied hastily. "Goku, Vegeta, come over here with me! I'll explain!"

"Could you wait a second?" Vegeta asked feebly. "I was just about to..."

"...?"

"...never mind."

Bulma, Goku and Vegeta walked some distance away from their sons so they could converse "privately".

"Okay, Bulma, how are we going to get back to our own bodies?"

"Simple!" Bulma giggled smugly. "Since Earth's Dragon Balls are unavailable, we'll use the next best thing! The Namekian Dragon Balls!"

Goku and Vegeta exchanged a surprised look.

"You think that'll be alright?"

"Yes! I've already worked everything out with the Namekian grand elder."

 _*cue flashback*_

 _Bulma had her hand placed squarely on Dende's back._

 _"...bottom line is, I need you to gather your set of Dragon Balls so my husband and my friend can be wished back to their original bodies! And I'll let you keep the leftover wishes for yourself! Deal or no deal?"_

 _Across the galaxy, Elder Moori massaged his temples. "And I should do this for you WHY?"_

 _"Uh, hello? You and all your guys would still be dead if it weren't for us."_

 _"Some of us ARE still dead!"_

 _"Huh?"_

 _"An entire village of ours was slaughtered by YOUR husband back during that whole Frieza stint, and we're still in the process of resurrecting those people whenever the balls are active! Sometimes WE actually need them, y'know!"_

 _"I don't get why you're being so vindictive, elder! We've helped you, now you help us!"_

 _"My answer is no! Frankly, I'm tired of you Earthlings using our prized relics as your 'get out of conflict free' cards! What's next, you're going to need them to pick up your kid from school? No. No! So, how are you going to fix your cliché problem now?"_

 _"...listen, Moori. I know that Namekians don't exactly have the same worldly desires as humans, but- -"_

 _"Whoa," Dende cut in. "Where's this going?"_

 _"Shhh!"_

 _"But...?" Moori repeated._

 _"But if you let me have that wish, I'll grant you a little wish of your own. Money, cars, employees...maybe even something a little 'naughty'."_

 _"EUHHH, well, we really don't want another drought any time soon, so how about a ocean's worth of fresh water?"_

 _"Deal!"_

 _*end flashback*_

"So, he agreed!" Bulma concluded.

"We really didn't need all that detail," muttered Vegeta.

"Alright, so everything will be back to normal soon," said Goku. "Everything's resolved! ...except the question of who made the wish."

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER, GOKU!" Bulma screeched all of a sudden.

Everyone, including Goten and Trunks, looked at her in shock.

"...Mom?" Trunks began slowly. "Why'd you just call Dad 'Goku'?"

Bulma blinked at him. "I didn't!"

"But you did... What's going on?"

"...look...Trunks, Goten. Something has happened to your dads that we haven't told anyone."

"Bulma!" Vegeta grabbed her shoulder, but she shrugged him off.

"No, I'm done keeping secrets! Boys, yo- -"

"GOKUUUUU! VEGETAAAAA!"

A livid Chi-Chi standing was now standing in the doorway of the Son household.

"Uh..."

"Did you REALLY think I wouldn't notice?!" she went on, stomping towards them. "That I'd let this slide?!"

"Chi-Chi, we can explain...!" Goku offered.

"Don't give me that 'we can explain' nonsense! You should be ASHAMED!"

Everybody winced, ready for Chi-Chi to punish them however she saw fit.

"You're just lucky I'm an expert cleaner, or I'd be twice as mad!"

"...huh?" Goku, Vegeta, Bulma, Goten and Trunks chorused.

"What do you mean 'huh'? The house! All your powering up and unnecessary screaming shook the house, and made a real mess of the place! FOR SHAME!"

"...RIGHT!" Bulma spoke up. "Right, right, you are SO right, Chi-Chi! We're all very sorry about that!"

"Yeah, sorry!"  
"Sorry," Goku and Vegeta echoed.

"We'd make it up to you, but we have some very important business to take care of at the Lookout! Oh, so important!" Bulma went on nervously. "You two! In the chopper! NOW!"

She, Goku and Vegeta hopped into the mini-copter and began to take off.

"Hey, wait!" Trunks called to them. "What was the secret you were gonna tell us?!"

The trio looked at each other guiltily.

"YOUR DADS LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!" Bulma shouted back.  
"WE'RE GONNA GET DENDE TO MAKE IT SNOW!" Goku shouted back.  
"WHEN YOU WERE BORN, WE CUT OFF YOUR TAILS AND ATE THEM!" Vegeta shouted back.

"..."

"..."

With that, the copter flew out of sight.

"..." Goten looked at Trunks and Chi-Chi. "So, I guess the three of us are sharing the dinner."

XXXXXXXONTHELOOKOUTXXXXXXX

"Yo, Moori!"

"The Dragon Balls are ready. Tell me the exact wish you want to make."

"I wish to return the minds of the Saiyans Goku and Vegeta to their original bodies."

Moori recited the wish to Porunga and the Namekian dragon's eyes shone red.  
Goku and Vegeta looked each other in the face as they were bathed in that same glow. It got brighter and brighter until it couldn't seem to get any brighter. When it dimmed back down, they and were suddenly back to their original perspectives. They felt around their bodies, patting their cheeks, flexing their arms, etcetera.

"Phew..." sighed Vegeta. "What a relief."

"Why do I suddenly feel so hungry?" Goku moped.

Bulma grinned at them. "Alright, Elder Moori. It worked, so feel free to use the last two wishes. Get me the coordinates of your new home planet, and I'll have that precious water sent over tomorrow."

"Yeah, you better..." Moori hung up his mental phone.

"So, what do you guys want to do now?"

"Urgh…" Goku massaged his gut. "I wanna go see if any of that dinner is left."

"Didn't you want to know who made the wish?" Vegeta asked, following him to the edge of the Lookout.

"I can't worry about that on an empty stomach!"

Strongly agreeing on that sentiment, Goku and Vegeta flew off.

"Yeah, don't even bother asking if I want to come," grouched Bulma. "Ingrates."

"So, you really never told them?" Dende inquired.

"Of course not! And I don't plan to! Switching Goku and Vegeta's bodies was one of the few dumb things I've ever done!"

 _*cue flashback to the middle of the previous night*_

 _"Alright, Bulma. I gathered up my Dragon Balls as per your vague request. So, what undoubtedly generous wish are you going to make?"_

 _"See, here's my logic...despite my enduring attraction to Goku, there's no way that's happening. But what if, stay with me here...Goku was in Vegeta's body? Could that really be considered cheating?"_

 _"...yes..."_

 _"I don't think it could be."_

 _"Bulma, I think you'd have a better shot committing infidelity with Vegito than a body-swapped Goku."_

 _"Who?"_

 _"My point is, I don't think you've thought this through..."_

 _"Of course I have!"_

 _XXXXXXXSOONXXXXXXX_

 _"Dende! I didn't think it through!"_

 _"What?"_

 _"My wish! My wish for Goku and Vegeta to swap bodies! I mean, what am I going to tell them, how are they going to react?! They aren't just going to roll with it, they're too annoying!"_

 _"Wait, wait, wait, it actually worked?"_

 _"Well, yeah. You may not hold a candle to Goku or Vegeta in power, but when it comes to intellectuality, you've got them beat by a healthy margin, so Shenron was able to make it happen."_

 _"Finally, someone who appreciates that."_

 _"Yeah. That said, it did count as two wishes. You gotta help me decide what to do with the last one!"_

 _"Oh, no no no. I'm not helping you cheat on your husband, especially not in a manner as convoluted as this! In fact, I'm going to tell him and Goku what you did!"_

 _"And what'll it take to keep you from doing that? Must have something you'd like to use that last wish on..."_

 _"Bulma, I'm the guardian of Earth. It's in my job description to be free of sin and clear of conscience. You really think I can be brib- -"_

 _"What about that Gohan body pillow you've been wanting?"_

 _"Deal. Then what are you going to do about Goku and Vegeta?"_

 _"I'm gonna go home, get to sleep, and wake up like this NEVER happened. As long as you don't say a word to anyone about this, everything will work itself out...like always."_

 _*end flashback*_

"And as usual, I was right! Everything DID work out!"

"Yeah..." Dende glanced aside. "Except you never scored with Goku, did you?"

"No." Bulma let out a huff. "No, I didn't."

"Well, maybe you'll get another chance someday."

"You think so?"

"Suuure..."

* * *

(A/N: Well, thanks for reading all three chapters of this dang fool story! Glad I was finally able to get it done and again, I hope you enjoyed it to some degree.

Please review, fave, point out mistakes if you find 'em, check out my profile for more stories, and yeah! Au revoir!)


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